As I look out my window on the blanket of freshly fallen snow, all I can think about is you. Your warmth, and beauty. You were so good to me and I don’t feel like I fully took the time to appreciate you. When you were around I would go outside and just be outside, like it was no big deal. Winter makes me suck in my breath once outside and wish more than anything I could be inside as soon as possible.
When you left all those months ago, I saw it happening, like it always does. The days got a little shorter and the heat started to subside slowly, I thought nothing of it. I didn’t sit there and beg you to stay, I didn’t thank you for all my long nights sitting on the back porch or allowing my days to consist of aimlessly wandering from farmer’s markets to parks and back again. Winter won’t even let me open my back door, let alone sit on my back porch.
I think of you a lot. Today, while I was pushing the stroller through huge drifts of snow, I thought of you then. Sometimes I wonder if you ever think of me. I don’t expect you to, you never expected anything from me. Winter expects so much from me! Cleaning off the car and bundling up aside, you won’t believe this but he wants me to shell out SO much cash to pay for indoor activities. If I try to refuse he lays down the guilt trip telling me how I might start to slowly go insane if I don’t go out, how it’s good for my child, yadda, yadda. You never asked that of me! You provided me with so many free outdoor activities I sometimes ran out of time to do it all, you were so good to me.
Don’t get me wrong, winter started off pleasant enough. He started off cool and slightly brisk. The snow fell lightly and was, dare I say, “beautiful”, but then he got mean. It was early January, we had already been through so much together, then he decided to hit my entire family with a storm while trying to drive back to Chicago. I took that beating and thanked him for letting us still get home safely. How did he repay me for my patience? He forced me into isolation. He cleverly called it his “Polar Vortex” like he was some kind of superhero, arrogant pig! Fine, I took that too. I brushed it off as a bad time of the month. I assumed that was the last of it, I mean what did I ever do to him? I spent my month of December singing winter theme songs in his honor? Now this? Well, that wasn’t the last of it, he did it again. Negative 5 with windchill of below 40. He smirked at me as I tried to bundle my child up just to get supplies at the store. But he just keeps doing it!! I keep taking it too! Maybe that’s part of the problem, I sit here just accepting this bad behavior and expecting a different outcome, what is wrong with me?
So now it’s March and he’s still here. I have told him time and time again to leave and he won’t. So I’m asking you, my dear, dear friend to please come back. I promise to be good to you! I will wake up every morning and thank you for being around!
I hope we meet again someday (very soon), because you are missed and loved over here.